One Fine Day

Daddy is at work today, so Mommy actually got up early and had quiet time!  Yay!  Coffee started, a short scripture reading, and then "Mommy!!!" from both the kids in my bed.  :)  Oh well, 15 minutes is better than nothin-right?  It definitely started our day off right, and we had a fabulous morning.  We made "quiet reading areas" in each of their rooms, played "Library," did some school work, then took a break to enjoy the beautiful weather after the rain.  Here's some shots from this afternoon.  Excuse the half naked bodies, yes my kids have clothes, but Owen (due to sensory issues) enjoys less…and Harper wants to be like brother.  We are learning to embrace this new us and trying to forget what others think.  I am personally learning that I am created to please my Heavenly Father, not others, and my joy is in him!  

Today's verse, which seems to be our family verse: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will makes your paths straight."  Proverbs 3:5-6  

Owen and Harper going to check out the weather outside

The Beauty She Is!

Blonde

Sweet Siblings

O-man

Even Toby was enjoin the sunlight!

Skateboarding

Fun in the driveway

Playing with the Reid's

 Been a while, but I have been wanting to post this!

We had such a blast hanging out with our buddies.  Life in the hills is beautiful, slow, and relaxing.  We talked, had chicken soup for lunch, slept, played, and talked some more.  The boys played "firefighters" and "barn."  The gang watched (some) of "The Firehouse Dog."  We puddle jumped outside, checked out the horses, and peeked at the neighbors baby sheep!  We are blessed to do life with them, and spend precious moments like this together.  Thanks Tracy for taking a group picture!
    We love you Reid's and you have blessed us so!
    -Check out Tracy's blog here: http://duncan-tracy.blogspot.com
                                     

Boys playing Firefighters (like their Daddies)

Snuggled Up 

Mustache Crew or as Harper calls it "Musnache"

Feeding "Mr. Jones"

Family Photo

Owen turns 4! Owen Update

    Seriously, 4?  I feel like this is where my son becomes a boy, and not so much my baby anymore.  He is leaning out, talking smart, and looking grown up.  Sometimes I glance at him and wonder when, at what point did that babiness fade?  Where did his chubby calfs go, his froggy and slurred speech go, and where the heck did all the "Why's, what for, how come's" come from?  I thought that stuff wasn't til' they were older! I find myself having to do more research just to explain things to him!  

    Ok, so, for real…Owen is 4, and if any of you have been continuously reading my blogs (what little few there are) you know this is two years past the most horrifying news my husband and I heard of our son.  However, I would like to say, God is so good, and he has given us not only a miracle in changing his original diagnosis from Duchenne's MD to Becker's Muscular Dystrophy, but in granting us time.  I look back now, and I am confident that what God gave us was a MIRACLE.  He has been my miracle since his conception.  From a 99.9% sure Duchenne's diagnosis to Becker's was a miracle.  Owen has been symptom free for the last two years.  This year we tried to coddle him less, realizing that everyday should be precious regardless of a diagnosis or health.  Owen experienced more "growing pains" this year, which caused us to question his Pediatrician quite a bit.  However, his leg pain appears to be quite normal.  We have had a few scares when Owen has said something like "my legs hurt, I can't walk." Knowing our son it took only once for us to realize he was making excuses, and wanting to be held or carried.  We will probably always fear the worst when he says something like this, but we try to remain positive that we'll know for sure when that day comes.

    Owen is a special little boy, and not just because he's my son, but because I believe through his life God is being glorified.  I have to admit that when I pictured myself having children, this was not the scenario I hoped for, nor the child I perceived in my dreams.  I wouldn't change my life for anything, but I want you to know this isn't easy for me.  Being Owen's mommy is a privilege and a struggle altogether real and crazy.  We have also recently discovered that Owen has a mild form of SPD or Sensory Processing Disorder.  We have questioned this since summer, and struggled with behavior issues for some time now.  After what feels like a hurricane of meltdowns Aaron and I decided to have our Chiropractor (who we originally started taking Harper to for her constant ear infections) adjust him, thinking maybe we could loosen him up.  We know Owen is "spirited/strong willed" which does not help this present situation.  In speaking with our Chiropractor she believes Owen's onset of nerve damage (which can cause the SPD) may have occurred during his birth trauma or his vaccinations.  I have started looking into the vaccine issue, but haven't read much or talked to any other parents experiencing this.  I wish we had said NO to vaccines, because in our gut we wanted to and discussed it with our Pediatrician but felt that because of our jobs at the time we were protecting him.  That being said, I am over the guilt of wishing I said no…because I realize I didn't cause it, just like I didn't cause his MD (even though I am the carrier).  In life God gives us things to grow us, and this is more a growing experience for me than for Owen-he's oblivious!  

    So for the last 3 years we have been eating Paleo (and that is a whole other blog for another time), and have restricted our diet even more going GFDF.  The Chiropractor, Dr. A, suggested we cut out dairy and grains for a 90 day detox and see what changes occur.  I have to say in the first week we noticed Owen was sleeping better (and going to sleep easier).  Getting Owen to bed can sometimes take 40-90 minutes.  On his birthday he told me "go out mommy," during nap time.  It was the second time in his life I can remember not putting him to sleep, not laying with him, or reading endless amounts of books, or singing to him.  He is still co-sleeping with us, and maybe that will change one day too.  The detox is hard, but worth it.  I am anxious to talk to other parents.  I have read some blogs and websites, but will do more research in order to accommodate our situation.  I am sure I will have a ca-trillion posts about his SPD in the future seeing as how it is an everyday thing.  

    Three was a big year, hard, fun, crazy, new, adventurous, busy, and great.  Here are some photos to catch you up.  Owen had a "Cars" themed Birthday.  He got a big boy bike that he is loving!  He is into cars, planes, swords, being "Samson" from the Bible, dancing, wearing dress up clothes, playing in his bounce house, going to the zoo, doing "guy stuff" with Daddy and playing with his friends.  

      

This is on Owen's bedroom door, in honor of his favorite song: "The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save."  Zephaniah 3:17  (He also asked me to sing this to him tonight at I rocked him and Harper to sleep in our recliner)  This boy! xoxoxoxo mommy

Owen and Harper at the Zoo.  Owen is gradually getting over his fear of "petting" them.  Conquering fear, one stroke at a time!

 

Owen and Mason at Owen's party.

Owen hitting the piñata!

Owen and Harper

Mommy and Daddy

 

Visiting Daddy at his new station, and climbing onto the truck!

Christmas!

Harper Turns 2!

Harper is 2!?!  Where has the time gone?  My baby is growing so fast!  I know all parents say that, and feel it.  It really is amazing how fast time goes when you look at your children.  We celebrated Harper's Birthday with a family party at our place.  She had a blast opening presents and eating cake pops (yes, she had 2!).  She kept saying "party, party."  She definitely knew it was her day.  Today we took her to get pancakes (yummy!) for breakfast.  She also got to "trick or treat" for the first time.  She LOVED it! We discovered she likes "pops" suckers/lollipops.  She dressed up as Minnie Mouse, her favorite thing right now.
    Harper rocks my world.  Just when I think she can't get any cuter she says something new like "I lobe you momma," "No, David" (from the book), "Owwie" (Owen's nickname), or something like "pew-wee," or "move" (usually directed at Toby).  She is amazingly beautiful, and I tell Aaron all the time, I'm not sure how I managed to have such a gorgeous girl, she's more beautiful than I ever dreamed.  I love watching her discover new words, and catch on to big kid stuff like climbing structures at the park, learning to ride a balance bike, and potty train.  God has blessed me with her sweet, affectionate and loving personality, somethings I lack in myself he has given me abundantly in my daughter, and I'm thrilled.
Stats:
*Loves Minnie Mouse
*Likes shoes, purses, Lipstick and chapstick (a lot), and all things girly
*Likes talking on the phone to family members
*Doesn't like showers
*Is a good "cleaner"
*Potty trained at 22 months
*Sleeps most of the night in her own toddler bed
*Snuggles
*Enjoys most food, and tries new foods  
*Is shy and slow to warm, but affection when comfortable
*Learning about the Bible and how much God loves her
*Enjoys seeing "babies" especially newborns
*Loves her Daddy and melts his heart
*Likes animals, especially birds and "catty cats"
*Loves music, especially instrumental hip hop and opera, classical, and kids songs

Enjoying cheese pizza at whole foods

Zoo fun

auntie Alex's lipstick :)

balance bike girl!

Party time

this is her sassy stance

bike ride 

Harper I can't believe you are two!  So many new things for you to do!  I love you more than you'll ever know!  I love watching you grow.  xoxo mommy

a month in snapshots

Ok...so I just have to load some pictures because it's been too long, and my kids are cute!

Harper and Luke chillin'

Owen and Yaya swimming

Eating breakfast on the couch

Harper loves her big brother!

Owen's first In Theater Movie!!!

Despicable Me 2

Life Group Kiddos: tiny trouble

One of the best reasons we are glad to be in Fresno...Daddy's work!

One day :)

Aaron and I

Harper and Mommy at Carmel

So unsure of the sand...and awfully mad I made her walk on it!

Playing at the beach!

Exercising with mommy!

Last Frozen yogurt in Davis!

Bye bye stuff...our storage unit!  My buff hubby!

This is how the Kelley's move! :)

So darn cute!  Wish I had 20 more of her :)

trust (again)

I can hardly believe it's been a month (4 weeks) since we have been back in Fresno.  Sometimes it felt as if June 30th (our move out) was never going to come!  But, as all things do, it came-and went.  As we currently reside with family and wait for God to guide us into a home we can't help but miss Davis.
    Wondering what lies ahead, how we will adjust to yet another home, finding our routine, and trying to collect ourselves consumes my brain.  Every day (or more like night) I pull out my Jesus Calling and my Bible and am reminded of the stillness and quietness and rest I find in Christ (even if only for an hour).  God is speaking to me, and Aaron, so clearly it is crazy.  I had to write today, because I just wish other people can see how real God is when we seek him.
    This morning at Church the Pastor was talking about God being "The Good Shepherd," and leaving his own flock to find sheep who have wandered away or keep choosing to roam from the herd.  He said that Shepherds used to search for the wandering sheep, break one of its ankles, and carry it over their shoulder...only as if to be saying "I'll do whatever I have to to keep you safely in my herd."  *Aaron looked at me with a look of ridiculous and sarcastic shock on his face and said "He broke my leg!"  Seriously, thank you God for breaking Aaron's leg...because the longer we would have stayed in Davis we may not have wanted to come back.  Oh my how intimate and real God is when we are attuned to Him and His will.
    Tonight, I started reading my Jesus Calling (which, by the way, has been such a blessing since my BSF ended for summer, I can't wait to start back up!).  It starts out like this..."Rest in my presence when you need refreshment.  Resting is not necessarily idleness, as people often perceive it."  I do feel as if I'm being idle in a home that's not my own, trying to figure out what His will is for me while I'm here waiting.  It continues to talk about Trust (the theme of my life this year).  "I want you to lean on, trust, and be confident in me...in quietness and trust shall be your strength."  Proverbs 3:5 "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding."  Isaiah 30:15 "...in repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength."  God is still, after what feel like "long enough" calling me to Trust in Him.  I wrote in my journal "Amazing that almost a year later, God, you are still trying to get me to trust you fully!  Why is it so hard for me?  Funny how i think I am fully surrendered to Him, and then he unveils my worries and I see that I am still holding on to stuff.  Silly me to believe I can change my circumstances or feel at peace when I am digging my heels in."  Trust and Obey.  Today Pastor Brad was also talking about obedience...obedience requires an action...which displays my trust.  Still trying to figure out what my "action" is now...through much prayer and seeking I know the answer will come, I just would like it to hurry up and get here! :)
    *P.S.
I have to say Aaron and I are so lucky to have amazing friends here!  Just when things get tough, and I sometimes start to "get in a funk" my life group ladies come to the rescue.  I am so blessed, so so blessed to be surrounded by women who love me when I'm me...and pray me through.  Sometimes I wish I could be a better woman, better wife, better mom.  Sometimes i just need to BE, and be still knowing the He is God...and that this life is not all there is.  I will never be perfect, but I have HOPE that one day perfection will come.  Like the song in Church today said "I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord."  I am learning, ever so often it feels like, that I have to look up to Him and not to myself to continue on.  Thank you Life Group for being what you're supposed to be!  Without a doubt the best!
Aubrey

trust and obey

Everytime I try to blog about the transition we are in from Davis back to Fresno I type and delete...until tonight, I type and save and when I'm finished (if I finish) hopefully I publish instead of save for later.  For my own good and the glory of God I must keep typing.
    You see, we had a plan (Aaron and I) to move to Davis where it's comfy and safe and fun and beautiful.  Where there's great education and local produce.  Where people don't judge you by the clothes you are wearing--or in Owens case the lack there of.  For us it would be a fresh start and a gamble.  We love Davis, and I think we always will.  But our plans are not His plans and slowly our hearts transformed.  As I attended BSF and started studying Genesis, and the life of Abraham I slowly began to feel an absence of "blessing."  Not monetary or material blessings, but spiritual and foundational blessings.  If God wanted us in Davis (which he clearly allowed) then why weren't things feeling "blessed."  As I studied Abraham and how GREAT his faith in God was, I began to see what putting God first looked like, what it meant, and how to do it.  So...I guess this is more a story of how God has changed my heart through the life of Abraham, and how Aaron and i are choosing to respond.
    From September 16th to the beginning of November we started settling in and enjoying our surroundings.  If anyone asked we were loving life.  That was all very true, and nothing drastically changed to make us feel like we wanted to be anywhere else.  When I started talking to Aaron about missing out on the blessings God may have had for us if we stayed in Fresno we began to question our motives for moving.  Purely good motives... (read my notes on good vs. best).  From November to December little things became struggles, reality started to set in, and we started to feel unsettled in our decision.  Since I was finally staying home we figured we would have more time together as a couple...date night?  Yeah right!  Finding a Church was rough...until we found one that served cookies and hot chocolate after EVERY service...and Owen fell in love!  We just couldn't get connected, find a group, or commit to a marriage retreat.  Aaron was only able to attend once or twice a month due to commuting (which in and of itself was taking a toll on him).  We missed our biblically based teachings and convicting sermons from Brad.  We missed our life group (people we had connected with who we had fallen in love with and felt blessed to be part of).  We missed feeling God's purpose in our lives in that place.  Things just weren't "connecting."  I attended MOPS in hopes to find friends or people my age with kids.  My BSF class was out of town, my neighbors were 40+ with green thumbs and welcoming hearts, but just not connecting.  It was starting to feel like a near miss...so close, but not what felt right.   I had been diligently and persistently praying for months that I would feel God's blessing of our decision to move to Davis, but I never did.  As Aaron and I started praying for Gods clear guidance about our situation and feelings we started to feel peace. 
    Aaron and I cannot explain what happened in January...it was as if for the first time we could read each other's minds.  As we sat down to talk about how we were feeling about Davis we agreed that it was time to "go back 'HOME'." The question everyone else asked of us was "So, why did you move to Davis."  It started to take root in my heart...and the answer wasn't revealed to me consciously then...my answer was something like this:  We really like the area, what it has to offer kids, the community feel, and the safety.  We like the small town and friendliness of the people.  We have visited and not wanted to go home...so we figured we would try it out.  What would a year hurt?  I now see that God allowed us to Davis to bring us closer to Himself, to show us what really matters in life, and to help remind us who is ultimately in control.  I can now look back and say for myself that I subconsciously thought moving to Davis would save my son and keep him safe.  I ran out of fear, and I tried to take control of my life.  I realize now that Owen will be safe and healthy wherever God has us.  If I'm in His will everything will work out for His glory.  I am NOT in control and I do not know what my future holds, but I know the one who holds it and I am committed to obeying Him!  Davis was not a waste.  It was a place where God had to bring us to get us close to him, to bring us to our knees, and to open our eyes.  
    Sometimes it's so hard to hear God's voice, or know his plans...but I have found that when I put him first, seek Him daily, trust what He tells me and act on it quickly that I am in constant communion with him and that is the best place to be.  I have also been reading Jesus Calling as my daily devotional, and I must say God has been speaking to me through that as well.
    So in the end, I realize we didn't consult God about moving to Davis...we told him what we were doing.  He allowed it in order for us to see that His plans are always better, and when we go where he wants us to go we will be blessed.  The Hymn Owen always sings is Trust and Obey...and that's my theme for this year, as hard as it is for me I am determined to trust and obey God...For there's no other way to be happy in jesus than to trust and obey.

*I am so blessed beyond words to have been part of the Vacaville BSF this year.  I cannot express my eternal gratitude for all the women in my group who prayed for me, laughed with me, cried with me, and helped me on my journey.  God was my best friend in Davis, my confidant, my strength and my shield.  He is breaking my will down daily and replacing it with a quiet reminder that surrendering myself to his will is what's best.  I cannot imagine my relationship being this strong, and I have Davis to remind me of that.  He used my mistakes and my futile plans to strengthen and grow me.  God is amazing, and I am so grateful He chose me!

With ALL that being said we are moving back to Fresno/Clovis in July.  God has opened and closed doors where he's seen fit.  He has answered so many prayers (not always to my liking), and been faithful.  We are waiting for God to guide us into a home, and when we know we'll share.  

Some of the lecture notes that spoke directly to my heart this year:
Principles
Genesis 18-19:
  -Compromise with the world means a wasted life with God.
Genesis 20-21:
  -Incorrect thinking causes us to react in fear instead of faith.
  -God calls believers to give up their own plans and follow his plans.
Genesis 22-23:
  -Tests provide opportunities to reveal our faith.
  -God provides for those who trust him.
  -God BLESSES those who TRUST Him.
Genesis 24-25:
  -God gives clear guidance to those who prayerfully trust him!
  -God wants us to act on the guidance that He gives us.
  -The Holy Spirit guides us on life's journey.  (my note: where do I need to trust that God's provision is what's best for me?)



Notes
*  Where there's true faith there's the miracle of God working in us.
* God opens our eyes to see our current provision when we are worrying about the future.
*  Sometimes the "good" is the enemy to the "best"
*  Genesis 22:2 Abraham cultivated "listening for God."
*  Obeying God shows that you trust him
*  Because Abraham obeyed others were blessed...when I obey others are blessed.  The blessings are eternal.
*  Genesis 25:1-18 Abraham's legacy
     1.  Rich (not monetary)
     2.  Finished well
     3.  He was blessed as well as his family

If you made it to the end, congrats...
xoxo Aubrey